


i wanna know what love is (i want you to show me)

by the_marathon_continues



Series: The Umbrella Academy (Diego & Lila) [6]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Breaking Up & Making Up, F/M, Lila Pitts Defense Squad, Luther is a good bro, This was supposed to be smut but it turned into gen fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:42:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26337403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_marathon_continues/pseuds/the_marathon_continues
Summary: When her regularly scheduled hook up with Diego goes wrong, Lila goes on a journey of self-discovery.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts
Series: The Umbrella Academy (Diego & Lila) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873150
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	i wanna know what love is (i want you to show me)

**Author's Note:**

> another one-shot that was supposed to be smut but then morphed into Feelings™️, the title is from the 80s soft rock song :)

Lila's heart raced as she looked at the clock.

Again.

It was her and Diego's pre-agreed upon time where he'd visit her. They’d been hooking up for _months_ , but no one in his family knew that she was back in the 2019 timeline. With all the drama with The Sparrow Academy and Reginald's death, she and Diego decided to keep it from the rest of the siblings.

But that wasn't why she was on edge.

On a whim, she’d decided to order lingerie to surprise Diego. It was a simple slip; a tiny wisp of silk, the same golden brown as the color of her skin with lace trimming at the bust and hem. It looked demure enough online, but right now in her bedroom, she was self-conscious. What on earth would Diego think? She didn’t do flirty or feminine, and quite frankly, Lila felt stupid.

“Oh hello,” Diego whistled softly, interrupting her thoughts. “You look beautiful.”

 _Shit._ She was so distracted, she didn't realize he'd entered her room. What on earth would her Mum think?

Wait.

Her mum was dead.

(Not her biological mum, but the Handler.)

Lila froze, her kohl-rimmed eyes wide, as she remembered that it didn't matter, _nothing_ mattered. No one who'd ever really known her was still alive. 

* * *

Diego experimentally touched the fabric that draped across Lila's frame, smiling as his hand glided along her waist. God, she was beautiful. Her skin and eyes positively glowed and he had been thinking of her all day, getting lost in her scent and touch and breath and fucking her till they were both sated. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in lingerie,” Diego said. He meant it as a matter of fact, merely making an observation, and wasn't ready for Lila's response. She took his words like a slap across the face.

“If that’s a problem, you can bloody well leave the way you came,” Lila said crossly. 

“Whoa,” Diego raised his hands defensively. “Easy there, honey.”

“Don’t patronize me, Hargreeves,” Lila caught a glance of herself in the full-length mirror on her bedroom door, and the self-doubt that was only creeping in exploded in an avalanche and suffocating her initial excitement when she'd dressed for Diego. Her hair and bangs were growing out and instead of blow drying it straight after her shower, she’d left it tousled. But Diego, handsome devil he was, looked model perfect, in his leather jacket and sexy day-old scruff. His shaggy hair from the Asylum was cut in a trendy short style and he looked like a bronzed god while she felt like an ugly duckling.

“Let’s start over,” Diego said, patiently not realizing her helter-skelter thoughts. He sketched a bow. “Hello, Lila. How are you this evening?”

"A lot better before you showed up," Lila scowled. She _knew_ she was being difficult, but it was hard to reel herself back in when her insecurities took hold. 

Diego frowned. In some ways, he liked it better when it was just him and Lila at the Asylum where they saw each other at their worst. It seemed like he was growing and moving forward, but Lila didn’t want to do the same. He liked Lila - _a lot-_ but he hated the constant walking on eggshells and arguing. 

Damn, was he like that with Eudora? His frown deepened, as he remembered the last time he saw Patch, laying on that shitty motel room floor, and blood all over that soft blue sweater of hers. 

Lila sensed the change in his mood, her eyes tracking the clench of his jaw, and the way his mouth tightened. 

“You can go home if you want,” she blurted. “I don’t need your company.” She didn’t _want_ to push him away. She just knew that the only reason Diego stayed around besides the mindblowing sex was that he pitied her. “I mean you have all your siblings,” Lila continued. “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”

“I damn well know I don’t _have_ to be here,” Diego retorted, his temper rising. “But you always gotta say how much you don’t _want_ me around.”

“Diego, it’s not like that-”

“Whatever.” Diego zipped up his leather jacket.

“Where are you going?” Lila asked, starting to panic because she just knew, one day Diego would be absolutely done with her bullshit.

“Somewhere I’m wanted.” And with those ominous words, Diego slammed out her apartment. 

* * *

Lila stared dumbfounded at the closed door, before reacting.

Rushing to her closet, she grabbed a black trench coat and threw it over her slip, and rushed behind Diego. She was down the hall when she realized she needed shoes, and so she doubled back to get them before setting out again to find him.

* * *

She couldn’t very well ring the doorbell at the Umbrella Academy, so going by her memory of how Diego had described it, she tried sneaking through the back entrance into the kitchen.

She bumped into Luther instead. He was surrounded by what looked like a few dozen chocolate boxes and an almost empty bottle of red wine.

“If you’re looking for Diego, he’s gone.” Luther was hunched over the massive kitchen table, his meaty fingers holding a delicate chocolate truffle. He devoured it then chased it with a swig of wine. 

“Where'd he go?” Lila asked, nonchalantly. Maybe Luther would think their conversation was a figment of his wine addled brain. 

“Who knows.” Luther plucked another chocolate from the box and shoved it in his mouth. “He’s been moody ever since we came back. Mom’s gone. Patch too. He’s either sneaking off to be with you or going to the graveyard.”

Whatever Lila thought she was going to hear, _graveyard_ wasn’t it. 

“Who’s Patch?” she asked instead. 

“His ex-girlfriend who got killed trying to help him. This timeline and the last.” Luther popped another chocolate in his mouth. “She was on the right side of the law. _Way_ nicer than you. Pretty too. Don’t know what she saw in Diego.” He gave Lila a lopsided grin. “Patch was way too good for him.”

 _Patch the Paragon,_ Lila thought bitterly. She slumped next to Luther. 

“My superpower isn't mimicry. It's fucking everything up,” Lila admitted softly. “It's just what I do.” She reached over and took one of Luther’s chocolates breaking it into half, and then half again.

Luther considered her words and the way she avoided his eyes. “You’ll fit in with the family I suppose,” he finally said. “Well, everyone but Five. He’s probably gonna kill you on sight.”

Lila shrugged and reached for the half-empty bottle of wine. “It's not like me and Diego are together.” She took a swig straight from the bottle. “I was a bitch and he left.”

“Can't you work it out?” Luther asked, earnestly. 

Lila laughed bitterly. “It’s so fucking hard when Diego is so fucking perfect all of the time.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and scowled. “It’s _infuriating_. He’s like this beautiful angel of light. I’m the demon spawn from hell.” 

“Diego? Perfect? Diego _Hargreeves_?” Luther tilted his head and stared in disbelief. 

“Course he is,” Lila grumbled. “Perfect hair. Perfect body. Perfectly sweet-”

“Perfectly stupid.”

“Diego’s not stupid,” Lila said, grabbing the wine bottle again. “He’s kind. _Too_ kind. And honest, unlike me. I have no idea why he puts up with me.”

“Considering you’re not supposed to be around this family, I don’t know why either.”

Lila’s eyes widened because that was definitely _not_ Luther who spoke.

“Uh, Five, I can explain-” Luther began.

Electricity cracked as Five teleported towards Lila, appearing right before her.

“No need to get your shorts in a bunch.” Lila shot Five a mocking smile. “I was just leaving.” Time froze for a split second as she grinned, then mimicking Five’s own power, she blinked out of the Hargreeves Mansion.

* * *

“How much did you hear?” Luther asked cautiously. Ever since they’d returned to the new timeline everything had been a clusterfuck. They’d been able to defeat the Sparrow Academy and take back the Academy mansion, but Five had been adamant that they had nothing to do with the Commission or anyone affiliated with it.

 _Especially_ Lila. 

Five flicked his hair back and straightened his blazer. “I heard enough to know Lila’s an even bigger idiot than we thought. Maybe she and Diego deserve each other.” He spoke calmly but his mind was whirring with possibilities. Who would've thought Lila truly had feelings for Diego? 

That could come in handy.

* * *

_**Across Town** _

There was only one public cemetery in the City, and that’s where Lila found Diego. He was sitting next to a gravestone, still dressed in all black and leather, his knees drawn to his chest.

Lila tamped down the urge to scold him. God, was she a replica of her deceased mother without knowing it? The Handler always wanted Lila to be picture perfect at all times. And just like that, Lila’s heart stopped when she remembered that her actual biological mother was murdered because of the Handler, and she knew nothing about that woman. Maybe she needed to find out more about Anita Gill, and try to be a better human.

Or maybe it didn’t matter who her biological or adoptive mother was, maybe Lila was just a bad seed; destined to bear ugly, destructive fruit where she was planted. Poisoning everyone around her.

She silently started moving away.

“What d'you want, Lila?” Diego spoke up. He wasn’t looking at her, and she wondered how he knew it was her.

She considered his question. What _did_ she want?

To die? To be a different person? To be good? Be worthy of him?

“Nothing,” she said instead, shrugging.

“Why are you here?” Diego persisted.

 _Shit_. That was a good question.

“I’m here because-” Lila’s eyes widened, and she clutched the trench coat around her. Maybe she could be honest, for once? “Because it's where you are?” Diego remained silent, so she continued. “So this is the infamous Patch?” She sat down next to Diego. “I’ve heard great things about her.”

He finally looked up. “She was the best,” Diego whispered. It was dark outside, but the moon was full and she could make out his features. His eyes were red, and his mouth a straight line.

Lila’s chest grew heavy, as unfamiliar emotions exploded. Was that jealousy? But there was also a softness she’d never experienced before. She needed to take away Diego's pain. God knows he'd been through too much. 

“I can steal a briefcase," she blurted. "Try to save her.”

“You think I haven't thought about that?. It would mess everything up," Diego glared. "Besides. Eudora wouldn’t want that.”

Lila’s mouth trembled. Even in death, Eudora was better than her.

"What can I do?" 

Diego snorted, turning away from Lila, avoiding her eyes. "You can leave me the hell alone."

Lila bit back a retort as she stood up. She might be an orphan twice over, but she'd be damned if she outstayed her welcome.

* * *

One week, two weeks, three weeks passed.

Four weeks, five weeks, Lila knew she had to act.

* * *

Visiting Diego at the mansion was never their agreement because there was too much emotional baggage for both of them however Lila was at her wit's end. They hadn't seen each other in nearly two months and she needed to know Diego was okay. 

Luther let her in, and pointed her down the hall to Diego's room, letting her know it'd be the one with all the knife marks on it. 

Just her luck to fall in love with the one that had a knife fetish and could control the trajectory of bullets. 

* * *

Diego was in his room, twirling one of his knives between his fingers, frowning at the walls. How dare Lila use him then discard him! A soft knock and then his door creaking open interrupted his thoughts.

It was Lila, appearing as if he'd conjured her himself.

"Hello," she said softly, tucking her hair behind her ears."How are you?"

"What do you care?" Diego scowled, instantly annoyed by her gentle demeanor. Where was that softness back when he needed it? "Where have you been all this time?"

"Giving you space," Lila shrugged. "Giving myself room to grow."

Diego's eyes widened and dread settled in his stomach as he considered the facts. 

Fact: Lila, a known thorn in his side had disappeared for over a month.

Fact: She finally sees him and is contrite, appearing on the verge of tears.

Diego jumped off the bed and grasped Lila's shoulders. "Are you pregnant?"

" _What?_ " Lila's mouth dropped open. "Pregnant?" She pushed Diego off her. "What are you talking about?"

"You said you needed room to, you know. Grow." Diego looked sheepish, rubbing the back of his head. 

Lila snorted and she plopped on Diego's bed. "I wish I could live for a day inside your head," she grumbled. "God knows what's going on in there." His hair was growing back out and with his scruffy face, he was equal parts sexy and adorable, and it was distracting.

Diego laughed as he lay next to her. "Lots of makeup sex. After you left me, all alone at night in a cemetery."

"You told me to leave," Lila exclaimed poking him in the chest. "That's what I did!"

Diego held her hand and linked it with his own. "You told me to leave first," he said softly. All was already forgiven for him because right now he was inches from Lila's lips and the start of many fantasies he'd had over the past few weeks. He slowly raised his hand to her face and moved her bangs. "Your hair is growing out. It looks good." He traced her features touching her cheeks and her nose and mouth.

"Yours too," Lila sighed as Diego's fingers brushed her face. It was criminal how beautiful his hands were, how beautiful he was. "I missed you."

"Yeah?" He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Why'd you take so long to come to find me?" 

"The same reason why I push you away." Lila buried herself in his neck, as she remembered how exposed she felt that night. "I was scared."

Diego stroked her hair, running his hand through the silky strands. "I'm sorry I told you to leave."

"I'm sorry, too."

Diego sat up and twisted towards her. "Are you gonna keep mimicking everything I say?"

Lila laughed her first real one in weeks. "Depends on what you tell me, Lover Boy." It was a nickname she came up for him when she heard Luther used to be called Space Boy, and Diego had been insanely jealous of it because he thought it sounded so cool.

Diego kissed Lila softly, his eyes closing as he tasted her. "I need to touch you," he whispered against her lips, settling his weight on her as his hands roamed under her shirt.

Lila deepened the kiss, and all talking ceased.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I'm [@dancing-diego](https://dancing-diego.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr!


End file.
